By the time most empaths make it into my office, the majority of them feel exhausted, depleted, worn out, stuck, and confused about their life. They are desperate to find some kind of relief from feeling over stimulated by their outer world as well as being the constant “go to” person for everyone in their inner circle. For many empaths, they feel as though their life is not their own.
Some classic signs of an empath are: they absorb and internalize other people’s energy (positive or negative) into their own bodies, rarely do they exercise healthy boundaries, they are excellent listeners – to the point of not honoring their own thoughts and feelings within a conversation, they have an incredible ability to know what is being said in a conversation without it being verbally spoken, have been labeled as “to sensitive”, are easily overwhelmed by crowds, and unfortunately, are an easy target for toxic people.
Empaths who have yet to master their own energy usually have compromised root chakras which indicate financial challenges, anxiety around their sense of belonging, and a lack of focus in their everyday lives. These challenges are often compounded by involving themselves in relationships with people that are manipulative at best and narcissistic at worse.
One of the greatest challenges that empaths must learn to overcome is feeling that they are responsible for other people’s choices and behavior. This flawed premise seduces the empathy into thinking that somehow they will be able to save their loved ones from their own demise or the demise of their shared relationship.
I know these types of folks all too well because I happen to be one of them. I struggled for many years until I learned how to take control of my energy and manage my own vibration through my thoughts, feelings, and spirituality.
One of the most important things an empath can do for themselves is to devote time each day to meeting their own emotional and mental needs in positive ways. This means improving their self esteem, worth, and value. It also means becoming more conscious of their habitual thoughts and inner dialog that continues to knowingly and unknowingly repeat itself.
Another crucial lesson an empath needs to learn is how to say, “No.” And not just to be able to say no, but to be able to say no WITHOUT giving an explanation. How many times do we say, “No” and then feel deeply compelled to go into a long, drawn out story as to why we are saying no? No just simply needs to be no.
Going for a walk in nature is one of the fastest ways an empath can clear, cleanse and support their energy. We share the same essence as nature. Just like the essence of nature is made of sound, vibration, and energy, so too, are we made of our own frequencies and resonance. When we commune with nature, we actually attune ourselves to an energy that is completely devoid of judgment, insecurity, and separation. This allows all of our energy bodies (emotional, mental, and spiritual) to enter into a more harmonious state of being.
Other forms of self care include guided meditations or learning specific meditations for grounding, gentle exercises and body movements, salt baths, listening to calming music, keeping your surroundings clean and organized, participating in ceremonies or rituals that are focused on releasing unwanted energy, and simply making time for yourself to enjoy the things YOU enjoy doing versus doing what everyone else wants to do or wants you to do.
It’s really important to remember that empathy is a gift and can bring so much healing to those who need it. However, those of us who are empathic can experience it as a curse when we don’t take care of our energy and handle our own unresolved issues. That is when we get into trouble and over extend ourselves in every possible way.
The over arching message is . . . we must be willing to go through the awkward and uncomfortable process of learning how to put ourselves first while we keep our valued connection with the ones we love. We are not meant to be victims and door mats, but rather, powerful warriors for healing. But we must first, absolutely first and foremost, put ourselves at the top of our own priority list. Only then can our gift be used in miraculous ways that blesses both ourselves and the ones we share it with.
The Empath’s Survival Guide; Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff, M.D.
Empaths On Their Soul Path; A Guide To Empath Empowerment In Your Awakening by Corri Milner, CPC
Awakened Empath; The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Healing by Aletheia Luna